A lesson on Indian Guilt!

If you don't know about Indian guilt, let me give you a little lesson. Nothing has to be said for you to feel it. It can be the lack of saying something, it can be a sly look that only Asians can give; or it can even be the foe acceptance of a particular situation. The worst kind is when they somehow turn the situation around like you're inflicting some type of phantom pain.

I don't think this type of guilt can be taught, it is ingrained in the DNA of every Asian, specifically parents. It's like once they pop out a baby, you get a free guilt chip installed. They somehow know the way to get their kids home for the holidays, get an apology out of you for no apparent reason, sympathize when they screw up, get you to do physical labor! It is one of the most amazing talents in the world.

I will say, depending on how talented you are, you can have this skill to varying degrees. Let me tell you though, that the Mukhopadhyay's (that's my family), have this skill mastered. The pack is lead by THE master, my mother; with my brother in a tight second place (I suspect he will surpass her skill in the next couple of years). I am third on this list, but don't take #3 too lightly in this situation, however, I only use my powers for good. My dad, not so good at the guilt thing. If he makes you feel guilty, you probably deserved it.

Oh, so...the purpose of this note...I feel guilty! Apparently, pets can inherit the skill too, even if you only have them for a few weeks. If you recall, I once wrote about the 'love of my life', Barkley. I have now come to a time where I will try and replace him with a pup I saw at a local shelter. I know Barkley is in a good home and I'm sure that he has long forgotten me by now; but the guilt I harbor for relinquishing the world's sweetest and most loving pup is still there. No other pup can compare. I will try hard, but I will be off to see 'Giovanni' a cute chihuahua mix later this afternoon, to see if I can fill this hole in my little heart.

Another thing about Asian guilt; when it's self inflicted the scale is unmeasurable.

Adventures of a chronic dieter #2

This is the beginning of week 2. It seems the less that I talk about it and the more that I do, it works out much better. I've been really good in getting back on track and staying focused with the workouts. It helps that I don't feel as bloated as I did last week as well.

Every corner I turn I see something that motivates me to be good. It was hard to wake up early this morning for the gym, namely because my legs are pretty sore from the stairs yesterday; however I WILL make it to the gym by the end of the night today.

I feel like I'm finally getting back on track to at least the way my old body used to be. I was considering putting a picture up in my office to inspire me, but now I realize that what I really want to look like is myself as I was at this one particular juncture when I was in college.

I won't lie, I looked fanTASTIC. So that's what I'm shooting for. I'm inspiring myself with...well...myself. Unfortunately, I don't have anything but a mental photo of that self, but I think that will be enough to work.

Wish me luck as I continue on my journey.

The top of the list - worst movies!

After watching a spot of television with my beau last night, I decided that it would be interesting for me to write about the WORST movies I have ever seen. Unfortunately, this number is growing in the multitudes, however, I did notice that the worse a movie it is, the funnier it gets.

What inspired this blog?

Evil Dead 2...wow - If you haven't seen this then put down what you're doing NOW! and go rent it, Netflix it, whatever you need to do to get this in your VHS..yes VHS, they probably don't (and shouldn't) make this in DVD format. From the moment we turned this on, I knew there was no other option then to finish watching this movie. I really can't describe in words how ridiculously funny this horror movie is. Here's a snippet for your enjoyment:



Next on this list:

Rambo IV - not only does it look like Rambo has tons of wax on his face, his body is closely reminiscent of Ben Grimm from Fantastic Four. Why Rambo is out in the Cambodian jungles at the age of like 60 is beyond me anyway; but I can't lie, I was laughing a LOT! Essentially, the badness of this movie turned the last of an epic series into a frightful comedy. The trailor makes it look way more serious that it really is. I can't say how funny this was; mostly because Sly is all kinds of screwed up. Snippet below:

OK so those are the first two movies that come to mind. But I know there are more, feel free to contribute to this endless list.

Becoming Recluse...

That's right you heard it here first. I'm going into hiding for the next few months. My social activities will basically be work and tennis and even then on the same strict regimen that I have been on for the past month or so. However, this time I'm going to be organized.

I realize now that the only way to get all the things I need done by June, I will have to put all my attention into work and working out (tennis). Then I will be out of the country for a little more than a month. I have definitely been slackin' on the org skills, so I'm going to make like a caterpillar and cocoon myself.



If we're friends, don't take it personally, I still love you all. I just really need to put some high focus on certain things for the time being. I need to put my priorities in check and return to the place where I was before. So unless you play tennis or work with me, you probably won't see me and if you do play tennis and work with me; you'll probably be sick of me when this is over.

Thanks B ahead of time for being there for me :)...Updates to come...on 'adventures of a chronic dieter'. Next time you all will see me you will all see me outside my larval stage and I will be better than evah and hopefully less stressed.

New Template, New Start?

Ok, maybe not so much. I do a new start every week. I'm all about rejuvenating the old but shit. It's not working. I had a deep discussion with the beau the other day about sticking to your guns and how the 'self' is really the only person that can motivate you to do things. Of course, he's feeling good because he just finished the LA Marathon a couple weekends ago.

I just played in my mixed doubles playoff game this past weekend. Lost both matches; granted EVERYone on my team lost their matches; but I'm not everyone and I HATE to lose! I hate losing more than I hate aimless driving and chapped lips.

I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do, I'm just going to do it and tell you all later. In the meantime, I'm getting things ready for my summer trip to Europe this year. I'm very excited. It will be my second (not consecutive) year working with Pueblo Ingles. This is a great program that gets you out of your element and into a different culture. It was a great experience the first time and I'm excited to work with the teens this time. The BF is going so it should be a memorable experience.

Right now, I'm working my a@@ off and trying to get everything into a routine, but it doesn't seem to be working. Clearly I'm doing something wrong. I've found myself to be with low energy lately, but getting back in the gym should help a lot. Morning workouts here I come! Oh...and I'm HIGHLY contemplating disconnecting my cable for a few months, thoughts?

Oh the horror! - Week 1

I weighed myself yesterday and I can't even believe that I'm putting myself on blast like this, but I feel that it is the ONLY way to force myself to do something about it. 167....That's right! ::shaking my head in disappointment::

It's a shame that I let things get this bad and it was partially because of my ankle injury, I've been out of the workout game for a month, but there is no excuse for that. We (me, myself and I), have to work at a fast and steady pace to lose those extra 27 lbs that I am carrying around. ASAP.



The solution? Well there are a lot of solutions, but I'm starting with P90x. P ninety what, you say? p90x is one of those video workout programs that's supposed to get you in shape by doing boot camp style workouts everyday for 90 days (and in the comfort of your own home). Normally, I wouldn't buy into that shit, but there are people that I know that have tried it and said that it worked for them.

Although, I am pretty good at staying on a strong workout regimen, I need some motivation right now to get me out of this depression. I also need to take a before picture of myself, so that I can awe in all my glory at the after pic, when I have a rock hard body.

Don't know if its worth it? Well don't you worry, I will post what I think about the P90x program over the next 90 days. The greatest thing is that there are no crazy promises. 90 days is definitely enough time to re-shape your body and (in my case) my life.

Here we goooo!

Adventures of a chronic dieter #1

Again and again, I have promised myself that I would lose weight and improve my physical fitness over a period of time and there have been many many times that I have actually achieved my goals in that arena, however, since July I have made promises to myself that I just haven't kept. That all ends today...

"Why are you always on a diet?"...Well, I guess its not really a diet anymore but just a lifestyle choice. It is not that I think that I am obese either, and a lot of weight loss is not about that, but more about being the best you can be. I know I'm better than this, therefore, I have tried to encourage myself to get back to the 'way things were', because I felt better about myself back then. So I don't think I'm overweight more than I know that I feel and perform better at my ideal weight, previously achieved.

We all use excuses about why we have gained weight as we get older; working a desk job, being stressed out, being too busy, loving food too much, not wanting to torture ourselves, etc. Well fitness should be a part of your regular activity and when you want to lose weight you just have to incorporate some extra time into it. Its like when you're a student and you're struggling in a subject, you get a tutor and put more emphasis on it.

My goal is to trim off this excess weight and become a lean mean tennis machine. Along with fitness, I will utilize this 52 day program to improve my focus on everything in my life, improve my tennis game and get my finances situated (for all those trips I'm taking this year).

I have until March 31st to be all that I can be. I'm not going to put an exact number goal because that can be deceiving, but what I can put down are some ground rules:

- Cut sodas and artificial juices
- No candy or baked goods
- No more than eating out 1 time per week
- High protein, low carbs
- Incorporate a master cleanse of maybe 3-5 days in the plan somewhere
- Cut out as much dairy as possible (including cheese...I know....ouch!)
- Replace Coffee with Green Tea and non-sugar energy drinks (if necessary)

Tomorrow morning in the wee hours of the morning is the weigh in. I will not procrastinate to wake up and get out of the house. And alas, to make this the real deal, I will post my starting weight as embarrassing as it is for me.

During this extraordinary promise to myself, I will post my weekly progress, interesting observations, great fitness classes and exercises that I come across and recipes that I discover to keep my 'diet' bearable and exciting. The good news is that I love vegetables and salads. The bad news is this is undoubtedly going to be the hardest thing I have done to date (sometimes I think it is harder to lose weight when you're not overweight).

Here's to achieving the BEST!!! Cheers!!! Stay tuned...