Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Cusp of Insanity...4 days before the 'big' one.

What enormous stress and pressure a wedding is. The more sane your family is the less you have to deal with. However, the more crazy your family is....an event like this creates a colossal tornado of stress and emotion. I don't know who in my family hasn't cried during the past month.

Last Friday, I came at the cusp of the madness and broke completely down. My fantastic fiance realized it was time to sober me up (no, I wasn't drunk) and snap me back into normalcy. After a lot of yelling and more crying, I am finally in a place where I'm focused on getting tasks accomplished and just letting go mentally.

I think this has been one of the hardest obstacles in my life so far, it just contains so many aspects and hidden emotional issues. I can imagine why so many brides go crazy. It's hard to plan a day that you expect to be perfect and then let go and be a guest, especially the guest of honor.

I'm okay now and am trying to stay as serene as possible until the big day approaches (a nice massage will help with that). Being around my family tightens me up immediately, not knowing what to expect, what they will say or even what will happen. At this point there is nothing you can do, I wish I could have realized this earlier, but I think it was just inevitable.

At one point, I even wondered if it was all worth it, but I know when we hit the dance floor on New Year's Eve and we see the smiling faces of all of our closest loved ones, it will be a memory that we will NEVER EVER forget.

Cheers to everyone and Happy New Year!

Friday, December 2, 2011

It's December 2011, arguably one of the most important months of my life.

So It's now December 2nd. I took time yesterday and this morning to reflect and to really think about what this all means. I've been trying to reflect more these days, given I just dove into my thirties and now...29 days away, I will become Mrs. Beno Joshua. Wow...what a big step in life. I realize now, that everything has been practice and preparation up to this point.

The stress has definitely reached a high (not in a good way), with the most minute and crazy amount of details coming to fruition with the nearing of our nuptials. We have also agreed to do a prenuptial agreement, so that takes time too. The hardest part of this whole thing is figuring out the cultural stuff without the help of other more knowledgeable people (cough cough, MOM). It would have been very nice to have some help and support there, especially because I am so amped to have a Hindu ceremony. At this point, getting too many people involved is just more organizing and time, than I have the patience to deal with.

Needless to say, I am handling things the best that I can, trying to be organized and getting increasingly nervous and excited as the wedding day approaches. The last thing I'm worried about...a crucial thing...the honeymoon. B's supposed to be on it, I'll hope for the best with some suggestive noodling. Above all, this should be a smashing party, but I can foresee some extreme moodiness this month...So be on the lookout!

Wish me luck, I'll report back soon.