The Cusp of Insanity...4 days before the 'big' one.

What enormous stress and pressure a wedding is. The more sane your family is the less you have to deal with. However, the more crazy your family is....an event like this creates a colossal tornado of stress and emotion. I don't know who in my family hasn't cried during the past month.

Last Friday, I came at the cusp of the madness and broke completely down. My fantastic fiance realized it was time to sober me up (no, I wasn't drunk) and snap me back into normalcy. After a lot of yelling and more crying, I am finally in a place where I'm focused on getting tasks accomplished and just letting go mentally.

I think this has been one of the hardest obstacles in my life so far, it just contains so many aspects and hidden emotional issues. I can imagine why so many brides go crazy. It's hard to plan a day that you expect to be perfect and then let go and be a guest, especially the guest of honor.

I'm okay now and am trying to stay as serene as possible until the big day approaches (a nice massage will help with that). Being around my family tightens me up immediately, not knowing what to expect, what they will say or even what will happen. At this point there is nothing you can do, I wish I could have realized this earlier, but I think it was just inevitable.

At one point, I even wondered if it was all worth it, but I know when we hit the dance floor on New Year's Eve and we see the smiling faces of all of our closest loved ones, it will be a memory that we will NEVER EVER forget.

Cheers to everyone and Happy New Year!

It's December 2011, arguably one of the most important months of my life.

So It's now December 2nd. I took time yesterday and this morning to reflect and to really think about what this all means. I've been trying to reflect more these days, given I just dove into my thirties and now...29 days away, I will become Mrs. Beno Joshua. Wow...what a big step in life. I realize now, that everything has been practice and preparation up to this point.

The stress has definitely reached a high (not in a good way), with the most minute and crazy amount of details coming to fruition with the nearing of our nuptials. We have also agreed to do a prenuptial agreement, so that takes time too. The hardest part of this whole thing is figuring out the cultural stuff without the help of other more knowledgeable people (cough cough, MOM). It would have been very nice to have some help and support there, especially because I am so amped to have a Hindu ceremony. At this point, getting too many people involved is just more organizing and time, than I have the patience to deal with.

Needless to say, I am handling things the best that I can, trying to be organized and getting increasingly nervous and excited as the wedding day approaches. The last thing I'm worried about...a crucial thing...the honeymoon. B's supposed to be on it, I'll hope for the best with some suggestive noodling. Above all, this should be a smashing party, but I can foresee some extreme moodiness this month...So be on the lookout!

Wish me luck, I'll report back soon.

My adventures in baking -> pumpkin bread pudding

If you know me, you know that I just adore bread pudding. More recently, I have become addicted to pumpkin spice lattes and I've always love pumpkin pie. So when I saw this recent blog post on pumpkin bread pudding, I just had to try the recipe. It is probably one of the easiest recipes I've ever made and of course...I had to add my own variation to it by

adding chocolate chips. So this is really Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread Pudding, a mouthful I know... Check out my step-by-step creation in photos below, yummm! A great easy recipe for the holidays.

Quick note: I had trouble finding the canned pumpkin, not really being the baking type an all. It's in the cake section.

Take day old baguette and chop it into 1" squares

Preheat oven to 350, let 3/4 stick unsalted butter melt in 8" pan

Mix together 1 1/2 cups whole milk (or cream), 2 large eggs + 1 egg yolk, 1 pinch ground cloves, 1/8 tsp allspice, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 cup sugar, 1/2 tsp ground ginger, 2 tbls maker's mark (that's right), 3/4 cup packed canned pumpkin.

Pour your bread bits into the melted butter and coat evenly. I used a glove so that my hand wouldn't get all greasy. Toss the bread and get the butter all over the pieces.

Pour your mixture over the bread, making sure that it is evenly coated. This is also when I added the chocolate chips, be generous, about 1/2 cup throughout.

After 25-30 minutes in the oven, you should have something delicious like this.

How sweet it was...

I am amazed at how quickly 2010 came and went. I'm generally a big promoter of moving up and on and getting my resolutions ready for the next year, but 2010 was so full of things I thought I would reflect on all that went down.

Let Downs :/

• Didn't go to Macchu Picchu
• Had to get rid of Saabi
• Gained 20 lbs. (yea! I know, scary) - I already have the resolution for this one
• Lazied on tennis after August
• Didn't take the GMAT....again
• Didn't run more races

Achievements :)

• Saw my first live Celtics game at TD Garden in Boston
• Participated in my first season of mixed doubles
• Won a tennis tournament (Calabassas Country Club)
• Pueblo Ingles teens 2010
• Traveled through Spain, France, Turkey and Germany with my love
• Got a new car
• Attended my first PRSA International Conference
• Filed my taxes on time
• Ran in 2 10K's
• Adopted my adorable Chaka
• Celebrated the last birthday of my 20's
• Kicked Coffee (I like to celebrate the small victories too)
• Got engaged to be married
• Began planning my wedding
• Became a chocolatier

Overall it has been a pretty stellar year. I can't wait to see what happens in 2011, I already know of a couple pretty important milestones that will take place. It should be interesting. I will get on the 'list' of resolutions that I have...However, today (while in the gym), I realized that sometimes my over planning is self defeating and I should continue to follow the one motto that I have always loved "Just do it!"

Good luck on your resolutions and Happy Holidays!

A November to Remember- birthdays, engagements, thanksgiving and more...

As the end of the month approaches I realize a few things:

1) I did not write enough on the blog this month (even though I intended to several times)

2) Time goes by, whether you want it to or not

3) Regimen is key

4) Anyone can surprise you

5) Getting older does not have to be a bad thing...totally!

A lot of things happened to me this month. Early this month, I had a birthday, which I was completely not ready for. As the day approached I was left feeling listless and unfulfilled. Just one of those moods I guess. It comes and goes with the rain sometimes. The closer my birthday got, however, the happier I got.

I had dinner with my closest friends in Long Beach and participated in a mean game of Scrabble afterwards. Having everyone over, just reinforced the fact that I desperately want to move to a new place, preferably a small bungalow house in Long Beach. Our lease isn't up until the end of January, but I haven't been able to stop myself from preemptively paroozing on Craigslist for available listings. It looks promising. All in all, my birthday turned out to be great and I don't feel any older.

Another thing happened on my birthday, my love decided that he was ready to propose. It's a cute story, perhaps I'll save that for my next blog. Regardless, after spending my birthday working, checking in with the doctor and going on a lovely hike. Beno proposed to me in a garden up in Santa Monica. I could tell he was nervous, but I couldn't stop smiling. The ring is one that I had spotted out when we were in Turkey this past summer, very untraditional and very unique. It was an experience that was greater than I expected it to be.

Now, Thanksgiving is upon us. One of my favorite holidays, as I love anything pumpkin flavored. We're going to be spending Thanksgiving with Beno's family, while my parents are living it up in Vegas (I think it's a tradition now :).

I have decided to take the GMAT in February 2011, which will be a tricky one, because work will become very busy with our recent lineup and plans for next year. Beno has decided to take his NASM certification at the same time, so at least I will have a study partner.

What's next? The most important month of the year (at least as far as I'm concerned), stressful Xmas preparation, figuring out New Year's Eve and of course....planning my wedding. At least I know that next New Year's will be taken care of....Wedding date? 12/31/2011

I'm so excited for all that is to come and hoping the fiance is excited to. Although, I don't think any of this has phased him much. Oh...and the puppy! Chaka is great and is now a well-integrated member of the family, always keeping us on our toes, causing mischief and most of all looking adorable.

Happy Holidays everyone! Let the festivities begin.