#YouKnowYou'reAnIndianChildWhen

A friend of mine on Twitter started a hashtag today. It was basically just her an I, but I thought it was so funny. There are specific things that you experience when you're a kid who has parents that immigrated from India.

Since I'm sure they differ slightly for different types of Indians, I will only generalize from California Bengali's, so you all can understand us just a little bit better.

You Know You're a Southern Californian Bengali Child If:

• Your dad is an engineer, doctor or works for Microsoft.
• Your weekends are booked with 'family get-togethers'.
• You are studying for the S.A.T.'s at the age of 10.
• Your dad smells of tobacco and scotch.
• You have never been to a summer sleep away camp.
• Your mother doesn't or shouldn't be driving on the freeway.
• Everyone is your dada, didi, auntie or uncle.
• Your in math class instead of enjoying summer.
• You are 14 in community college calculus.
• Your school teachers don't even try to pronounce your last name...and you don't need them to.
• You live with your parents to 'save money' at the age of 25.
• Rice is on the menu (every night) with Fish or Chicken curry.
• Your parent's drive a Honda, Toyota or Mercedes.
• You start applying to UCLA, UCSD and UCI as soon as you enter high school.
• You are a computer science, engineering major or pre-med.
• Your parents tell you repeatedly about how Rabindranath Tagore won the Nobel prize for literature.
• You don't play outside or swim until 4 pm because your mother is worried you're getting too dark from the sun...
• Your parents use adjectives as nouns, ex: "Don't be a stupid".
• The cashiers at 7-11 look at you intently before asking "Are you Indian?" with absolutely no follow-up.
• Kids at school ask where your red dot is (that's all Indians).
• You either check 'other' or 'Asian' on all official documents.
• You know that Salt Lake refers to a neighborhood in Calcutta and not Utah.
• People don't believe you when you say you're Asian.
• 6 hour flights seem like a picnic compared to the 16 hours it takes to get to India.
• Kids at school mistake you for Mexican.

There's tons that I think of in 'the moment', but these are just a few. Ah, life :)

A lesson on Indian Guilt!

If you don't know about Indian guilt, let me give you a little lesson. Nothing has to be said for you to feel it. It can be the lack of saying something, it can be a sly look that only Asians can give; or it can even be the foe acceptance of a particular situation. The worst kind is when they somehow turn the situation around like you're inflicting some type of phantom pain.

I don't think this type of guilt can be taught, it is ingrained in the DNA of every Asian, specifically parents. It's like once they pop out a baby, you get a free guilt chip installed. They somehow know the way to get their kids home for the holidays, get an apology out of you for no apparent reason, sympathize when they screw up, get you to do physical labor! It is one of the most amazing talents in the world.

I will say, depending on how talented you are, you can have this skill to varying degrees. Let me tell you though, that the Mukhopadhyay's (that's my family), have this skill mastered. The pack is lead by THE master, my mother; with my brother in a tight second place (I suspect he will surpass her skill in the next couple of years). I am third on this list, but don't take #3 too lightly in this situation, however, I only use my powers for good. My dad, not so good at the guilt thing. If he makes you feel guilty, you probably deserved it.

Oh, so...the purpose of this note...I feel guilty! Apparently, pets can inherit the skill too, even if you only have them for a few weeks. If you recall, I once wrote about the 'love of my life', Barkley. I have now come to a time where I will try and replace him with a pup I saw at a local shelter. I know Barkley is in a good home and I'm sure that he has long forgotten me by now; but the guilt I harbor for relinquishing the world's sweetest and most loving pup is still there. No other pup can compare. I will try hard, but I will be off to see 'Giovanni' a cute chihuahua mix later this afternoon, to see if I can fill this hole in my little heart.

Another thing about Asian guilt; when it's self inflicted the scale is unmeasurable.